Customer Care in 2020 - ha ha ha

  Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have
 your..."
 Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
 Operator: "Can I have your multi purpose card number
 first, Sir?"
 Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......
 889861356102049998-45-54610 "
 Operator: "OK... you' re... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir? "
 Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
 
 Operator: "We are connected to the system Sir "
 
 Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza... "
 Operator: "That' s not a good idea Sir"
 Customer: " How come?"
 Operator: " According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
 Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
 Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it "
 Customer: "How do you know for sure? "
 Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir "
 Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost? "
 Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99 "
 Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card? "
 Operator: "I 'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank
 $3, 720.55 since October last year. That 's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."
 Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
 Operator: "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you 've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
 Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas; I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway? "
 Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can 't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
 Customer: "What!
 Operator: "According to the details in system, you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."
 Customer: " ????"
 Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"
 Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised? "
 Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you 're also diabetic....... "
 Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^
 Operator: "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language
 on a policeman...? "
 Customer: [Faints]

funny-TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

6) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

7) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

8) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!

9) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

10) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

11) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

12) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

13) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

14) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

15) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

16) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

17) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

18) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE
CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

19) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!


20) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!

Why girls never marry sofware engineer.....

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry,cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program has performed an illegal operation,it will close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs